Friday, May 10, 2013

Empty Heart, Empty Soul

                                                                   After Shock    

I hate the way you talk to me
The way you make me cry

I hate that you do not know me
Or you almost let me die

I hate the way you babied me 
You wouldn’t let me live

You made me do your hobbies
and mine you wouldn’t give

You never let me be myself
You never game me hugs

I’m not even sure of how you feel
I’m not sure if I’m even loved

Instead of instilling courage
You made me feel afraid

Instead of me having trust in you
You’ve instilled a lot of rage

I hate the way you treat my son
because he’s not like you

I hate your dumb excuses
I know they are not true

I hate that I’m not good enough
And never will I be

I hate how you’ve made me view myself 
My insecurities

You taught me the world is dangerous
That I am not so strong

You taught me people all are bad
And they are always wrong

You taught me to always be afraid
To jump at everything

You taught me guilt and worst of all
You taught extreme self shame

You taught me to find my honor
by feeling all the blame

You taught me strife
You taught me grief

You gave me stress
But stole belief

You gave me life but took it back
You stole my hopes and dreams

You taught me to build a wall so high
For a feeling of false relief

You crushed the core of who I was
My heart and then my soul

For all this horror I daily lived
I must crush your toxic goals

I’m sorry it must now be this way
But this was all your choice

I have finally found a way out of hell
I finally have found my voice!


  1. Replies
    1. I'm sorry I am just now seeing this Stephanie. I'm sorry you can relate. Having to live that way is so very sad for its survivors. I hope that you have found you voice!

      Don't forget, whoever treated you in such a way that made you feel so bad about yourself... you do not need them in your life. They are poison and should be treated as such.

      I walked away from my abuser. When I did, it gave me the strength to put a stop to all of the bullying I was enduring, from the many poisonous people I had allowed in my life. It is empowering and you will find your laugh and your smile!

      Never give up!